Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
