Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
