therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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