is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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