this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Randomize
