he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
