Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
