Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
