Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
