doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
