She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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