Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
