I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
