Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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