"it" just moved
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
