"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
