i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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