ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize
