Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
