Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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