That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
