first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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