So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have fence marks all over my body
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
