Me too!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
