seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
