you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
