Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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