You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
