She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
