and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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