Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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