I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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