i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
