ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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