theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
