I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
