Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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