i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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