My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
