3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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