Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
