and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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