Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
