It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
