I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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