Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
