I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
