He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
