So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
