idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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