Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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