Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
